Don't Grow Up... It's a Trap! - part I

I recently saw a very funny pic that caught my attention. It said " Don't grow up.. It's a trap!" (See pic). And I couldn't agree more. Don't get me wrong, I'm not referring to youthful irresponsability nor anything like it. There's just a huge difference between growing up, growing old and ripening.

From my view point, growing up is something like conforming or adapting to the "adult" world: go to school, or get a job,to work, to become boring, get married, have kids, pay your taxes...etc. To a certain extent we can't escape from this, it's natural that life goes on and our circumstances and responsibilities have to change, but not necesarily us you know. I'm sure a regular individual is capable of retaining the essentials of their character as the years pass by even though their personality adapts and morphs depending on the circumstances.

Remember that our character depends on the inner traits that distinguish us from others, while personality is the mask we show the world, the way we face it. Maybe you have a playful nature, but when you're in a bussiness meeting you won't display that trait very often will you? Though there is a time and a place for everything, one is genuine in proportion to how the personality reflects the character. Growing up does mean being more "responsable", but the process doesn't have to change you, much less force you to conform to the likings of others or become "boring."

Growing old... is a sad, sad thing. Physically aging is not sad: what's sad is when as a person grows older and their mind is too lazy or just doesn't want to mature at the same rate. And so, we have thirty year olds, forty year olds that behave like teenagers and have tantrums like little kids. They don't understand the value of responsability, of a relationship... worse still, if they got married or have kids. It's one thing to be feckless, and another thing completely to drag others into it, specially children. The poor little things have paid way too many times for their parents mistakes.

And last of all, my favorite: Ripening. Just like a delicious fruit that you savor when it's ripe... that's what we should all aim at. It's knowing oneself, and respecting and appreciating oneself with the passing of time. We're all so wonderful and full of life and energy as children... wouldn't it be great if we could somehow keep and project all of that as adults? Sure, it's not the same things that worry us as children and as adults, and the latter are also much more tired as the norm, but isn't it worth the effort?

To accept oneself, to love oneself... to be proud of who you are. To allow our minds to be suprised by the big and little things... to smile as a butterfly passes by, to wonder where the leaves in the wind have been, to ask questions... to be like children in our hearts. What an incredible gift not only to ourselves, but to those that will follow in our footsteps, those around us. It's so easy to go with the flow and allow ourselves to give in to that frown more often, to wear a scowl, to answer bitingly instead of looking for a positive solution. But let's not give in: it is well worth it.

 Let's all ripen shall we? We'll enjoy life so much more.

The Internal Sea

How deep the ocean is, and the sea with its many colors and eternal waves. With the life inside it, and its currents, and its stillness.

It's bliss to imagine all the wonders, the mysteries, the stories it holds but just like the ocean inside us most prefer to wade near the shore and just touch the surface.

They're content when their reflection shows them what they want, upset when it doesn't, but only truly happy when it shows them who they really are.

However, they'll end up returning to the beach.

Why restrict the ocean to its limit when there is so much strength and beauty trying to burst from its within? Take a dip in your sea, in your emotions, dreams, desires and more.

Don't be afraid of getting lost because only then will you find yourself. Don't be afraid to drown because you were meant to swim and not just that.

For only sailors that know the sea can sail to far away places.

And here I have...

We went to church today and dressed up fancy (skirt and pink shoes). I used for the first time a new bag that my mother in law gave me that more than a bag is destined to be a diaper bag. As I transfered Belle Filles' stuff from the old diaper bag to the new stylish bag/diaper bag I thought of the different things I have in there:

1.- Six to seven diapers
2.- Two outfits for Belle Fille
3.- Melox for her bottom (better than any rash cream I've ever tried on her)
4.- A bottle of water
5.- Baby milk powder (vanilla, mind you. It's the only flavor Belle Fille accepts)
6.- Baby wipes
7.- My cellphone
8.- My camara

No matter how hard I try to pass my bag as a fashionable handbag, with that content, I will always have an undercover diaper bag.

The art of digressing

I feel like this is a confession of some sort.

As you know, I am very fond of digressing. Allowing my thought to wander, becoming seemingly more random as I get more and more ambiguous... It would seem as if my thoughts start to become disjointed, unrelated... but do they? Truth is, I (usually) say what I say and do what I do following a path of some sort that only I know. Sometimes my object as I seem to  verbally wander aimlessly is to amuse myself, sometimes to amuse and confuse others, sometimes to create a distraction and cloak something else.

The mode may vary, depending on my audience, my purpose, the theme, and of course my mood.

Sometimes the people that sample my digressions are close friends and can more or less understand depending on how well they know me. In these cases, depending on how much I want them to understand I also tend to give less sutil hints with my gestures and my eyes. With strangers I don't digress very often, and in the rare case I do I'm just amusing them or myself but not letting them in on any substance like I do with friends.

I have two main purposes when I digress. One is for amusement, another is for expressing myself. But I mix them very often, one leading to another. For example, I might start with something trivial and play with the subject, displaying an exagerated version of my scatterbrainyness. My friends are amused, and I'm having a good time. But if I have the need to express myself without needing others to understand I will do so in a veiled manner, keeping in tune with my lighthearted joking and messing around. But if you actually make sense of what I say, and you know me, you might understand what I mean. What I want to say, but don't necessarily want you to understand.

The theme... well you can imagine. The more personal, the more dim and in breadcrumbs I am. The less, the more literal. Then again, I can be very literal but say things in such a manner that I seem to be speaking in metaphors. I love to play with different elements of ambiguity.

My mood... well I have to feel good to digress because for me it's another way of being playful. When I'm angry or frustrated or sad I become very blunt and to the point. So the opposite feelings like being carefree, lead me to beat around the bush, to digress.

I recently talked to a friend about this matter, and laughed myself silly. See, back in high school when I felt more like digressing (just in case you haven't realized it yet, this sentence has a hint: refer to last paragraph), some of my friends actually thought there was something wrong with me! Like I had an attention deficit disorder or something! I thought they knew I was fooling around! I mean sure, I never explained this to them, but still! Oh the funnies...!

Though I now hug myself with glee at their being so naive, this makes me value my friends more. Even though they thought there was something wrong with me, they never made fun of me, nor made me feel less. They were always sweet, always genuine. I was very lucky to meet such people, and am luckier for still having them as friends.

I don't know if any of you are reading this, but thank you friends. Thanks for putting up with me even if you didn't understand me. I love y'all! :)

Scottish Garden

"If I ever do grow up," said she, "I want to be like that."
"Oh yes Odette, those flowers are very beautiful."
"Flowers? Yes, they're nice. But I'm not cut out to be a wall flower ma'am, I want to be as strong and as sturdy as that wall."

Listography: Top 5 things I love about kids

The end of semester marathon has really taken a toll on my brain, I can't string two words together just for the fun of it. So I'm particularly grateful to Kate over at Kate takes 5 for having decided to have Listography this time of the month. (Thanks Kate!)

Listography: Top 5 things I love about kids

1.- I love all the wacky, crazy things the young'uns think up. They think out of the box so to speak, because they haven't grown old and "proper" yet and built themselves one like most adults! You want to find a critical thinker, ask a kid that is completely unbiased, has no prejudice and is honestly curious about something. You'd be suprised.

2.- I love how I am with kids. See, I'm afraid I haven't totally grown up yet, I'm at the stage where you start to go from "playful" to "childish". Buuuuut when it's with kids I'm playing around, I'm more legit! x)

3.- Children don't mind making a mess and don't bother if you don't clean up. Need I say more?

4.- Since they believe pretty much anything you say, they inspire you to believe too. Who doesn't gloat when their child says to his friend: "My mom is the best mommy in the world!"?

5.- They avoid the complications and bureaucracy that adults for some bizarre reason like. They don't see that the house chores aren't done yet, your clothes don't match and you didn't "schedule" a visit to the zoo. Their logic is car + idea of visiting the zoo= visit to the zoo, and they're out the door! Spontaneous it is!

Forks

You know, my reading has been very ecclectic of late: with common ground, but contradictory. With repeated themes but viewed with different paradymes. Some well known, some totally unknown. Subjects ranging as far as psychology, phylosophy, religion, politics... (I've been using my bus time well! x) If I allowed these new thoughts true entry into my brain and heart they would pivot me in new ways and new paths.

No matter what I read I'm usually very good at filtering the new information into
a) The brain. Archived as information or culture, but not really letting it seep into me or
b) My heart. Where I allow thoughts the liberty to materialize in my behavior or worldview.

But now my own logic has been trying to make me adjust my judgement. So I would come back with my head full of new information and my heart filled with confusion.

Thankfully, the wave has passed and reflecting on all this I've come to see this process in a different light.

Of course I'll find different viewpoints than I'm used to if I don't discriminate my readings. If I wanted to avoid the clash of ideas I would discriminate what I read and shut myself up in my comfort zone. But I don't want to do that, I refuse.

On the other hand, it's perfectly normal to encounter new things, it's healthy. It's part of the thesis + antithesis = sinthesis that flows in this dialectic world. It's necessary.

Hmmm...

Wisps of smoke

I confess myself a complex and contradictory being, with halfhearted whims, powerful outbreaks and irrational inconsistencies. A romantic and realistic heart and soul. I thrive in my silent contemplations, as I close my eyes and free my soul forgetting reason and reality and I am a queen and a pauper, a danser, a damsel, and a poet.

As a queen I am haughty and arch my neck and my head bows to no one. And my choice is backed by power and I relish in it and in the power of my decisions. And I choose to be cruel or forgiving and the realization of each caprice and desire of mine depends on my wish of making them true or not.

And then I am a pauper and I thirst water and hunger bread. And I am thankful for each drop of rain that quenches my thirst and for each morsel that no matter the taste I find delicious because I managed to eat. And I thank the warm wind for being my coat and the world for being my home.

Then a noise arouses me from my slumber and my eyes open once more and I am who I used to be. And I stroke my babys hair and I caress her cheek as she sleeps and then so do I.

When again I see I am a passionate dancer and my skirt swirls like a river and my steps have the beat of fire. My hands and my eyes speak with each move, each stop, each curve I make soundlessly. And I am an object of awe and admiration, completely out of reach and slightly out of mind.

Then there is silence and my dress is bleached and the wild in my eye disappears and I am a sweet and fragile damsel. And I clutch at my throat and I shut my eyes and hug my knees and hide. I am scared and shut my heart and my mind and lie still in the pureness of my soul.

When I stand I am poet and my lips tingle and my eyelids bat and my stomach quivers from feelings that aren't there. And my love and my woes, my hopes and my fears pour out of my heart and my soul until I feel empty but find this emptiness oddly filling and satisfaction is mine. 

I am a somewhat ashamed and somewhat proud that I allowed these wisps of smoke escape from my mind while the thoughts and desires that mothered them have never yet seen the sun and the window of their materializing is incredibly small. 

And I pretend I am not all these things and I pretend that I am too.

And they exist. And they do not.

Just Look: Peekaboo!

On creating

Process of creation and an everyday application

1.- Question and defy your area of interest. Ask yourself questions about it, imagine it differently.

I loose so much time on the bus! Drat... I get so bored and I'm tired and hungry. Hmmm... I wonder if I can do something about it... The ride would be a lot more fun if they pasted up comic books on the walls  of the bus... then again that would become boring at some point as well... What if they put up flatscreens? Naaaa, given they weren't stolen, it'd be troublesome choosing a channel with so much people... Maybe a disco ball...?

2.- Research on the subject of your interest as to find other alternatives.

Is there any shorter route I can take? Do any friends ride the same bus? Well, it takes about 45 minutes for it to get me home, what can I do in 45 minutes? It's always extremely full at 2:15 more or less, if I use it earlier at least I won't get pushed around and maybe I'll even find an empty seat! 

3.- Abandon your problem and put distance between it and you. Let your unconscious work on it.

Yeah well, it's not like I can make the driver go any faster... whatever... at least I'm only a few blocks away from my stop now... A peter piper picked a peck o' pickled peppers...

4.- Try and find a solution with the information you've got and whatever you came up with unconsciously.

Well, I gotta use the bus tomorrow again. 45 minutes... I can't do homework because of the constant movement, no friend uses the same bus I do... what can I do, what can I do... Kareoke? Nope, they'd just kick me off... what about a book that I don't have to read analytically? That way it doesn't matter if I'm distracted or hungry, I'll be more interested in the book! Also, I'll feel more relaxed when I get home to do homework!

5.- Try your hypothesis

Well, I got a book from Isabele Allende from the library today: those have enough imagination to last me a good 45 minutes. (gets on bus, opens book with one hand while she holds on with the other) Hmmm... hmmm... hahahahahaha... wow... odd... yay!... Wait hold on this is my stop! (hurries off the bus in a nick of time) Phew! That driver must've been in a hurry, I got here so fast! Then again, 45 minutes've passed since I got on the bus... 

6.- Acknowledge your creation and relish in its freshness and usefulness.

Yay! I can finally read non-school related books! You heard me! I'm reading fiction again baby! And when I finish this one, I'm gonna read Jack Londons' "The call of the wild" again!