sábado, 20 de agosto de 2011

Anger Management 101

After a brief but explosive anger episode myself, I started thinking about how different people express their anger. And how that, in turn, affects the way others see you. Some instantly react in humiliating, frustrating you name it situations, and vent on the nearest unfortunate bystander if the real cause isn’t in the perimeter. These are considered hotheads and vary from mild indignation best case scenario, to very violent.

Hotheads aren’t usually bothered very much because everyone knows that the smallest thing can and will set them off, so people will mostly go out of their way to avoid their rage. However, the amount successful in this attempt is minimum and a hothead will continue to live up to its reputation until it consciously decides to change (unlikely) and woe is you if you catch them on a bad day or are the cause, or even messenger, of bad news.

Then there are the martyrs. They will swallow pill after pill of pain, frustration and anger as much as humanly possible. They believe that the world hates and/or completely misunderstands them, and either think themselves too insignificant to retaliate or even speak their minds, or think themselves too good for that. Also, sometimes they adopt these behavior lines to attract attention, compassion, to manipulate, to justify, and to be plain lazy and let others work because oh can’t you see what I’m going through? Beware these docile creatures, they are more than capable of defending themselves and can be driven completely over the edge when they explode, forgetting caution or measure or common sense. Long oppressed feelings can easily envelop these soft smiled individuals once past their breaking point, blind them, and that, my friend, is how some of the worst murders and evils happen.

By the way, did I mention that some people are very resentful and hotheads? Isn’t human nature beautiful?

Thankfully, things don’t have to be this way. There are also gents that are able to see more than the maddening situation in front of them, and see the devastating effect their giving loose rein on their anger can have on innocent and even non innocent people. See the cause of all the mischief and how little exploding will help them solve the problem. How much it can and will backfire. Don’t get me wrong, they won’t just stop abruptly and smile, that would be so not healthy. They’ll get steamed up alright, but they’ll also try to gain control of themselves before much damage is done. Sometimes lots of damage will be done, but the point I’m trying to get at is that they’re aware of the danger and working on it. These people are considered mature (at least in that aspect) or are getting there.

Moi? I’ve been the first two on and off, but I flatter myself established in the third kinds o’ people, though I still admit I exploded. (I was alone ok? And my faithful sidekick Belle Fille was asleep so there was cero audience and no one was hurt in any way) I’ll usually try and hold my tongue, but there are also times I am set off. I tend to rationalize unconsciously most of what I do, and that in itself has saved me a world of problems. But tread carefully if I can’t or don’t want to. I am scary people. A glimpse of an irrationalized me would instantly trash my organic and natural, not forced(roll your eyes if you must, I won't blame you) sweet tempered rep. and most of everything I’ve worked for.

And so, I will continue to cry myself through my anger episodes until I am rational enough to solve the freakin’ problem I probably caused (which sadly enough is 50 50 of its only existing in my head) , or rational/too darn tired enough to accept I can’t. Or stomach it and get a hernia or something, which I’ve also been known to do. And write about it when I’m done. Like now.

Except that my stomach still hurts.

lunes, 1 de agosto de 2011

Mr. Responsibility

I know I’ve been gone for a while, but let me share something I’ve learnt recently. As a woman. As a wife. As a mom.

I’ve got a truckload of responsibility.

Thankfully, I’ve got a truckload of potential as well, but that’s not enough. Hold on though, my head isn’t as blown up as you’re thinking right now. We all have a truckload of potential behind us. Male, female, child or adult. However, it doesn’t matter as much as you’d think. Why? Because potential isn’t something solid you can use. It’s what you can do, what you can be. Truth be told, it’s totally and completely useless.

I did say I was thankful for that useless bunch of crap, so don’t get me wrong. It’ll always come in handy. Its right there, ready to explode and be used in incredible, unique ways. The hard part is working your but off to be able to use it.

That said, allow me to return to my original statement. See, Responsibility is actually the last name of a person named Privilege. Middle name, Joy. You can’t have one without the others because they’re all one person, and to know this person is to be whole. Now then, Mr. Responsibility (yes, I know Joy is a girl’s name, but work with me people, it’s a metaphor) isn’t very popular, but that’s because most people don’t know him very well. Most don’t even know his first name, much less his middle name! He is an amazing person once you do get to know him though. He’ll take you places you’d never imagined you could go. He’ll help/make you do things you didn’t even know you could do. He’ll give you such insights and wisdom that you’ll forever forget what boredom was, because all you’ll see is purpose, happiness and growth in everything you do and everywhere you go.

FYI, I just met him. In fact, I’m afraid we’re very slight acquaintances. Being dead honest, I’ve only seen him pass by a couple times, and he was miles away. He seems nice though, and very welcoming and ready, even eager, to help you. Maybe a little too eager, with all the responsibility you’re forced on as you grow older and hopefully, more mature. But believe me, it is very well worth it.

Home is my responsibility. My husband, my daughter. Privilege is being responsible of achieving harmony in my home, warmth and peace for my husband, loving protection and fun discovery for my daughter. Joy is every single second in between. This is my area of expertise, what I’m supposed to specialize in.

As for myself, I’ve still got a long, long way to go. The streak of feminism that marked my teenage years is gone, but it left a yearning of personal growth in its place, and a wish to help others grow as well.

And so, with this new paradox of life, and the goals I’ve set for myself I repeat, I’ve got a truckload of responsibility/privilege. A lifetime of joy. I am just so freakin’ blessed!!! I could tell you in hard numbers what all this is translated to in my life, and I might later on, but this is that, in its purest state.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...